Ode to Coumadin

* Disclaimer: All you grammar peeps out there, this may not be a true Ode:-)

Prick, your INR is too low so now take 5mgs three nights and 2.5 on the 4th night

Prick, your INR is too high so now take 2.5 mgs two nights and 5 on the 3rd night

Prick, your INR is too low again so take 5 mgs three nights and 7 on the 4th night

Prick, your INR is finally perfect but you are having surgery so stop tomorrow and take 2 Lovenox shots a day until the morning before your surgery, connect the dots!

Prick, Prick, Prick, Cut, Prick, now you are done with surgery so go back to your normal dose but keep the shots for the next 5 days along with the Coumadin

Prick, prick, prick, your INR is okay so keep it up

Cut, oops shaved too fast can you take my INR from the blood streaming down my leg?

Cut, oops, those onions got confused with my thumb, pressure bandage to stop the bleeding!

Bump, oops, brushed the corner of the table, that'l leave a mark for about 3 weeks!

Oops, I ate spinach and brocoli, next time I'll hold the greens and get the fries

Prick, Im still good, what, yay my INR is good.

Thank goodness, no more pricks, no more Coumadin, bring on the tattoo, Oh Coumadin I will not miss you!